Yesterday was my birthday. Happy birthday to me. Like everyone else, I had to check to see what else I have to share the spotlight with for the day. 

The narcissist in me was enraged to find out that my special day was burdened by the likes of finding a rainbow and enjoying chocolate mousse. The couch potato in me sat up in disgust when I learned National Walking Day was occurring the same day I was born. 

My search for things that could steal my shine led me to the question: “Does having multiple ‘holidays’ everyday allow for a boost of serotonin in an otherwise monotonous life, or do they dull the shine of actual important holidays, such as my day of birth?”

Today, April 4, is littered with national celebrations such as National Vitamin C Day, Jeep 4×4 Day, National Chicken Cordon Bleu Day, National School Librarian Day, National Walk Around Things Day, National Burrito Day, and my personal favorite, National Hug a Newsperson Day.

My first thoughts when discovering these celebrations were: 

“How often are people actually walking through things?” 

 “Everyday is National Burrito Day,” 

And of course, “Where’s my hug?”

When looking into “National Walk Around Things Day,” the National Day Calendar website said that it was a day that could be looked at both figuratively and literally. 

“One would not walk through a puddle of water or mud; one would walk around it,” the website explained. “Figuratively, one would ‘walk around’ avoiding certain problems or potential problems.”

Excuse me when I say, I think that is one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard. You’re telling me someone wrote an argument about the importance of promoting the cause of not stepping in mud, a team of paid officials found it essential information, and now there’s a national day? It’s ridiculous. 

On the other hand, I do think it’s important to celebrate school librarians. Without them, the youth would be more illiterate than they already are, and the art of “shushing” would never be known.

As for National Hug a Newsperson Day, I believe there’s not enough hubbub on this celebration, which is ironic. We news-folk spend our days swimming in hard-hitting facts surrounding politics, police, and pedestrians. A hug wouldn’t hurt after a hard day in our cubicles.

Did Woodward and Bernstein get a hug after Watergate?

I think as a society of mass consumers, there’s nothing better than a reason to go buy something, which is the main reason behind these holidays. 

The National Day Calendar website states that registering an official National Day is a great way to amplify your cause, brand, or organization.

You weren’t planning on buying lunch today? It’s National Burrito Day, what are you, a party pooper?

You wanted to save money on gas and walk to work? Too bad. You have a Jeep 4×4, and today is the day that people might actually care about that fact.

I think it’s fun to celebrate the little things in life, and I encourage everyone to do so. Walk around the puddle, eat a burrito, “shush” a librarian. And, I assume people are perceptive enough to understand the difference between National Vitamin C Day and Memorial Day.

In conclusion, National Day celebrations are one of the most pointless things I’ve ever come across, and trust me, as a reporter, pointless things are at the top of my list. 

If anyone needs me, I’ll be registering April 3 as National Sidnee Short Day and telling National Tweed Day to switch to a winter month, where it belongs.